Meeting Script
Hello. My name is (your first name).
Welcome to Auckland Wednesday meeting of Adult Children of Alcoholics.
Please be sure all cell phones are on silent during the meeting.
We meet to share the experience we had as children growing up in an alcoholic or dysfunctional home. That experience infected us then and it affects us today. By practicing the 12 Steps, by focusing on the Solution, and by accepting a Higher Power of our understanding, we find freedom from the effects of alcoholism and other family dysfunction.
Please join me in a moment of silence followed by the ACA Serenity Prayer
” God, grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change the courage to change the one I can and the wisdom to know that one is me. Grant me patience for the changes that take time, an appreciation for all that I have, A tolerance for those with different struggles and strength to get up and try again One day at a time.”
Can someone please read (pick a, b, or c)
- The Problem & The Solution
- The Laundry List & The Flip Side of the Laundry List
- The Other Laundry List & The Flip Side of the Other Laundry List
You may be relating to our readings even if you did not grow up in an alcoholic home. The ACA Big Red Book identifies 7 types of upbringings that qualify as dysfunctional as follows:
“Parents who were:
- emotionally ill
- hypochondriac
- hypercritical
- perfectionist
- ultra-religious
- sexually abusive.
Adults who have been adopted or who grew up in foster homes also relate and recover in ACA.
We welcome you all.
May we go around the room and introduce ourselves by our first name. My name is __________.
We are glad you are here. Keep coming back.
The ACA program is not easy, but if you can handle what comes up at six consecutive meetings you will start to come out of denial. Confronting your denial about family addiction or dysfunction will give you freedom from the past. Your life will change. You will make friends and truly learn how to live with greater choice and personal freedom. You will learn to focus on yourself and let others be responsible for their own lives.
In the beginning, many of us could not recognize or accept that some of our attitudes or behaviors result from being raised in an alcoholic or dysfunctional home. We behave as adult children, which means we bring self-doubt and fear learned in childhood to our adult interactions. By attending six meetings in a row and attending regularly thereafter, we come to know, and begin to act, as our True Selves.
We encourage each member to share openly about his or her experiences as time allows. This is a safe place to share your adult and childhood experiences without being judged. To allow everyone a chance to share during the meeting, we ask each person to limit their sharing to five minutes (three to four if the meeting is large). Can we have a volunteer time keeper?
Anonymity
What you hear at this meeting should remain at the meeting. We do not talk about another person’s story or experiences to other people.
Cross-talk
We do not cross talk during the sharing time. If you do crosstalk, someone will likely come speak with you after the meeting. Cross talk means interrupting, referring to, or commenting on what another person has said during the meeting.
We do not cross talk because adult children typically come from family backgrounds where feelings and perceptions were judged as wrong or defective. We accept without comment what others say because it is true for them. We work toward taking more responsibility in our lives rather than giving advice to others.
Fixing
We also do not touch, hug, or attempt to comfort others when they become emotional during an ACA meeting. If someone begins to cry we allow them to feel their feelings. We support them by refraining from touching or interrupting them. To touch or hug the person in this way is known as “fixing.” As children, we may have tried to fix our parents or to control them with our behavior. In ACA, we are learning to take care of ourselves and not attempt to fix others. We support others by accepting and listening to them while they face their pain. We learn to hold space by listening, letting be, and trusting the process, which is often the greatest support of all.
Sharing
Many people arrive at ACA nervous and not knowing how to share at meetings. In the beginning, we encourage ACA members to share whatever comes up. There is no wrong way to share at an ACA meeting, as long as we are not verbally aggressive towards others or cross talking. ACA members listen with respect and hold space for one another with presence and empathy. After a while, our sharing might take on a general form of recalling our childhood experiences, and how we use reparenting, the Steps, and other ACA tools and resources to address the effects of family dysfunction. Sharing at ACA meetings allows us to emerge from emotional isolation by breaking the rules of family dysfunction: Don’t talk–Don’t trust–Don’t feel. As we authentically share with others, we invite deeper connections with our true selves.
In today’s meeting we read from “Strengthening My Recovery.” Can someone please read the meditation for today’s date?
The meeting is now open for sharing.
It’s now time for the 7th Tradition which states that “Every ACA group ought to be self-supporting, declining outside contributions.” Your donation goes towards room rent, tea and coffee costs of $30 per week. We accept donations through the ACA NZ website or through bank transfer, or cash. Details are on the table.
The last meeting of each month will be a conscience meeting after the main meeting. In this meeting a Chair for the month should be decided. This is also the time to volunteer for service roles, and raise any feedback or changes you’d like to see. Committee roles should attend and report to the group.
There are two Big Red Book meetings associated with this group held on zoom on Tuesdays and Thursdays at 7pm. Many of our members attend, information on how to attend can be found on the table and in our whatsapp group chat.
Thank you for being here and please keep coming back. If you did not have a chance to share, please speak to someone after the meeting if you need to talk.
Can a friend please read out the Promises?
End: Thank you to all those that shared today. Just a reminder that what you hear at this meeting should remain at the meeting. We do not talk about another person’s story or experiences to other people. Please respect the anonymity of those who have shared today.
We will now close with the ACA version of the serenity prayer.
(stand and form a circle, holding hands)
” God, grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change the courage to change the one I can and the wisdom to know that one is me. Grant me patience for the changes that take time, an appreciation for all that I have, A tolerance for those with different struggles and strength to get up and try again One day at a time.”