Meeting Format & Script

Introduction:

Hello Everyone, my name is (your name) and I am an Adult Child.

Our Group’s Conscience is that we are a ‘camera on’ meeting.

Our goal is to help people feel safe, especially when sharing, by:-

• Keeping your camera on for the duration of the meeting.
• Showing your face to the camera, so that it is clear and not in darkness
• Keeping still and focused on the speaker so they feel listened to.

When visitors don’t do this we ask attendees to turn their camera on and to keep it on for the length of the meeting.

If you need to move away from the camera for more than 2 minutes please leave the meeting and rejoin later.

Welcome to the Big Red Book Meeting (Tuesday or Thursday). Welcome everybody. Is anyone celebrating an ACA anniversary?

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We meet to share the experiences we had as children growing up in an alcoholic or dysfunctional home. That experience infected us then, and it affects us today. By practicing the 12 steps and by attending meetings regularly, we find freedom from the effects of alcoholism or other family dysfunction.

As ACA members, we identify with the Laundry List traits or the Problem and we learn to live in The Solution of reparenting ourselves, one day at a time. Just some Zoom housekeeping. Please turn your camera on to encourage transparency and trust. Please keep your microphone on mute unless you are speaking. Please feel free to unmute to greet the sharer at the beginning of a share; and thank them at the end.

Serenity Prayer:

 Please join me in a moment of silence followed by the ACA serenity prayer:

” God, grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change The courage to change the one I can And the wisdom to know that one is me. Grant me patience for the changes that take time, An appreciation for all that I have, A tolerance for those with different struggles And strength to get up and try again One day at a time.”

Readings: – pick two to read. Choose in pairs

Can someone please read

The Problem p 589 from the Big Red Book

The Solution p 590 from the Big Red Book

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The Laundry List p 648  Big Red Book

The Flip Side of the Laundry List pg 650 Big Red Book

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The Other Laundry List pg 649 Big Red Book

The Flip Side of the Other Laundry List Page 651 Big Red Book

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You may be relating to our readings even if you did not grow up in an alcoholic home. The ACA Big Red Book identifies 7 types of upbringing that qualify as dysfunctional as follows: “parents who were emotionally ill, hypochondriac, hypercritical, perfectionist, ultra-religious, or sexually abusive. Adults who have been adopted or who grew up in foster homes also relate and recover in ACA. We welcome you all. By practicing the ACA programme your life will change. You will make friends and truly learn how to live with greater choice and personal freedom. You will learn to focus on yourself and let others be responsible for their own lives.

Anonymity:

What you hear at this meeting should remain at the meeting. We do not talk about another person’s story or experiences to other people. Please respect the anonymity of those who will share today.

>>> Select pages to read from before the meeting

For Big Red Book meeting: Do the BRB reading. Then read Cross talk and fixing, then share.

For Speaker meeting: Introduce the speaker here. Then read from Cross talking onwards once they have finished sharing. Do not do daily reading when there is a speaker.

For Daily meditation meeting: Can I please ask someone to read todays reading? When the reading is finished:

 Cross talk and Fixing:

We do not crosstalk in our meetings. Crosstalk means interrupting, giving advice, referring to or commenting on what another person has said during the meeting. We do not cross talk because adult children typically come from family backgrounds where feelings and perceptions were judged as wrong or defective. In ACA, a person may share feelings and perceptions without fear of judgment. We accept without comment what others say because it is true for them. We work toward taking more responsibility in our own lives rather than giving advice to others. The safety provided by the “no crosstalk” rule allows a person to experience vulnerability and develop deep levels of trust. Others in the group benefit from this depth of sharing. They have an opportunity to learn more about themselves and to practice detachment. If cross talk happens during a share, nobody is allowed to comment or interject during this. Someone must take the person aside after meeting.

7th Tradition Reminder: Our 7th tradition states that “Every ACA group ought to be self-supporting, declining outside contributions.” We use your donations to keep this meeting running via Zoom and the website funded. The World Service Organization also needs our support at the moment to keep ACA running and literature published and available. We appreciate your support for our ACA meetings. Information of the bank account and payment gateway is in the chat:

Paste this Text into the ZOOM chat –

To donate for the 7th Tradition go here>>
https://acanewzealand.co.nz/donations/contribution-form-aca-new-zealand/

For people to join our Whatsapp group
email your details to acaauckland@gmail.com

Meetings In New Zealand/Aotearoa
https://acanewzealand.co.nz/meetings/

Details are on the International Adult Children Websites and at http://adultchildren.org

Sharing:

 We encourage members to share openly about their experience as time allows. This is a safe place to share your adult and childhood experiences without being judged. To allow everyone a chance to share, we ask each person to limit their sharing to: 5 minutes (if there are 10-12 people) 8 minutes (if there are 5-8 people) The timer will go off at a minute before your time is up, we ask speakers to acknowledge the timer and spend the last minute finishing your share. The meeting is now open for sharing. When the reading is finished: The meeting is now open for sharing.

 Meeting Close:

(approximately five minutes before the hour) If you finish early, ask if anyone would like to re-share.

Paste this Text into the ZOOM chat –

The Promises: I have asked a friend to read The ACA Promises Big Red Book  P591.

End: Thank you to all those that shared today. Just a reminder that what you hear at this meeting should remain at the meeting. We do not talk about another person’s story or experiences to other people. Please respect the anonymity of those who have shared today.

Face to Face meetings in Auckland – it is our vision that we will once again return to Face to face meetings in Auckland. If there is sufficient support to find a venue and carry out the necessary service required we will do this as soon as we practically can. .

Whom would like to chair the next meeting on Thursday/Tuesday?

We will now close with the ACA version of the serenity prayer.

ACA Serenity Prayer

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change The courage to change the one I can And the wisdom to know that one is me. Grant me patience for the changes that take time, An appreciation for all that I have, A tolerance for those with different struggles And strength to get up and try again One day at a time.”